Before the Crisis: The Complete Guide to Caring for an Aging or Dying Parent

The guide I wish someone had handed me.

$19.00

I was grooming a dog in the back of my mobile van when a doctor called. My mom was on a ventilator, she wasn't coming off, and I had to make a decision. Nobody told me what to ask, what my options were, or what I would see in that room the next day.

I wrote this so you won't have to face that call unprepared.

What's inside (27-page PDF)

The Guide: 7 chapters

  • Anticipatory grief and family: grieving someone who's still here, and getting siblings to share the load instead of second-guessing you

  • The legal and financial basics: the 4 documents every parent needs, what Medicare does and doesn't pay for, and the Medicaid 5-year lookback

  • Hospital advocacy: the questions to ask doctors, telling sudden confusion apart from dementia, and how to appeal a discharge that comes too soon

  • Palliative care vs. hospice: what each one really is, what Medicare covers, the truth about morphine, and how to choose an agency

  • Daily care at home: preventing bedsores, handling incontinence with dignity, why appetite fades near the end, and protecting your own health

  • The final days: what dying actually looks like, so the room is less frightening, plus how to stay with them and give permission to let go

  • The first hours after: why you call hospice and not 911, and a step-by-step checklist for what comes next

The Companion Workbook: 10 fill-in pages

  • Where to get your state's official legal forms for free

  • Emergency info sheet for the fridge

  • Medication list

  • Care team and contacts

  • Document locator

  • My Wishes worksheet, filled out with your parent in their own words

  • "When the Hospital Calls," the questions to ask when a doctor says you have to decide

  • Family task plan

  • Accounts and bills list

  • After-loss checklist

Who this is for

  • Adult children whose parent is starting to need help

  • Anyone suddenly caring for a parent after a diagnosis or a fall

  • Families facing hospice or end-of-life decisions

  • Anyone who wants the conversation done before the crisis

Instant download

Print it, fill it in, and keep it where your family can find it.

This guide is general information, not medical or legal advice. Medicare, Medicaid, and legal requirements vary by state. Legal forms are not included; the workbook links to free official forms for your state.